Thaw laws

Sunshine is directly proportional to

  • the acceptability of shorts.
  • the roll-downability of car windows.
  • the population of flip-flops.
  • AP review book sales.
  • graduation anticipation.

Sunshine is inversely proportional to

  • the average number of cough drops I consume.
  • the prevalence of hoodies.
  • the amount of homework that I’m willing to do.
  • the amount of effort high school deserves.
  • sadness.
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